June 5, 2014
Photo by iStock via The Rock 101.9

Photo by iStock via The Rock 101.9

May 27, 2014

Summary: Teenage boys often fantasize about sleeping with their teacher.  If a teenage boy is successful in his endeavor, he might think of it as a dream come true.  As they grow up, that dream-come- true might come with future relationship problems, and end up being a nightmare.

The idea of a male student making a move on his high school teacher is not an old idea.  The concept has been immortalized in books, magazines, films, and songs.  In the 1980’s, Van Halen alludes to the topic with their song “Hot for Teacher.”  In the last decade, Gym Class Heroes penned “Scandalous Scholastics” which explicitly details the dynamic of hooking up with his female teacher.  There are literally too many pornographic films to reference to further drive my point home.  There is even an online “how-to” guide if a man wanted to score his teacher.  Point is, there is no debate that this is a very real thought for teenage boys.

Cameron Diaz - Maxim Magazine (June 2011)

Cameron Diaz – Maxim Magazine (June 2011)

Most of us can relate to the idea of shacking up with the hot teacher in our school.  Most of the time, the idea of getting that hot teacher into our beds never leaves our head – it takes a lot of courage to ask anybody out, let alone a more experienced person.  If that thought becomes verbalized, there’s a very likely chance that we would be shot down.  Some examples of verbalizing the intent includes asking a teacher on a date, or to prom.  But…what if we would be successful in getting our teacher to hook up with us, just like we dreamed about.  Oh, how awesome it would be, right?   Who wouldn’t be curious to wonder what that “yes” answer entailed?

Now, however many years later, we can look back logically and think about that “yes” answer.  In our teenage fantasy, we never considered any of the other factors that surely come to play in such a situation – just the good stuff.  Perhaps it’s a good thing that most of us never hook up with our teachers.  In rural America, mostly everybody knows everybody.  If the teacher said yes, the word would’ve gotten around very quickly.  Something we don’t consider is that we would have certainly been the center of attention, though not necessarily for the right reasons.  We would not have been the same young men.  My feelings aside, just imagine what the teacher would’ve endured under the intensity of scrutiny that surely would’ve followed.

There’s a soft underbelly to this fantasy, and it’s a matter of maturity.  The brain isn’t fully developed at that time (normally 25 years), and there are several factors that come into play that a teenage boy or young adult simply are unequipped to handle.  One of the most prominent cases of a female teacher sleeping with a

teenage student is the case of Debra Lafave.  The 2006 case got significant media attention because of her physical beauty, in which she was found guilty of having sex with a 14-year-old student.  In a future interview with Matt Lauer, Lafave admitted that her victim would likely “have a hard time trusting women.”  Victims in this case could also have difficulty in developing age-appropriate relationships, and/or have issues with commitment, along with depression, anxiety, and drug addiction.

This kid might not be so happy down the road. Photo from An Enthusiast's Blog

This kid might not be so happy down the road. Photo from An Enthusiast’s Blog

It’s the last part that drives the point home that even a female teacher can cause permanent damage. This is sexual assault by a teacher, no matter what gender the teacher may be.  If a male teacher were to hook up with a teenage girl, that guy would spend considerable time in jail, and it would be an outrage.  It makes sense, as male teachers are 96% of the problem.  With a female teacher, the response seems to be divisive – some might cheer the teenage boy on, or crucify the teacher.  Our reaction toward the other 4% should be anything but ambivalent; the reaction of the media, community, and law should be uniform.  Yet, in the legal aspect far from equal: the average time spent in jail for a male sex offender is 11 years, while a female sex offender is less than two years.  The numbers suggest that women are far less likely to have molested multiple children, but the crime is the same crime.

At this stage of our lives, shouldn’t we be happy that we didn’t score with our teacher?  It spared the residual effects that come along with sex in general, and it maintained the integrity of the teacher/student relationship.   Now, from the law perspective, I call on our courts to judge all cases of child sexual abuse equally, instead of lightening the sentence for women.  All cases of child sexual abuse cause damage; though some are clearly more obvious than others, it is a group effort to protect our children.  It’s the institution’s job to ensure they are hiring good, moral people and to protect children in that regard; it’s a parent’s job to teach children what appropriate and inappropriate adult-child relationships are.  We all have a part to play to improve our community.


How to Score Your Teacher

Student-Teacher as a Sexual Fantasy (Scandalous Scholastics)

Not Every Schoolboy’s Fantasy